My Experience on Lending Money to Family and Friends

There is an old saying, "The quickest way to lose a friend is to loan them money."
Another one is "If you loan someone money, don't expect it back."
And there is more of course. I'm sure since money was invented there have been problems with loaning money. Just look at the pickle banks are in now after loaning out billions to housebuyers of 2003, 2004, 2005, and 2006 etc.

My experience with family is this. They borrow money with the promise of a quick payback. "Oh, I'll pay you back right away." I've also heard "I'll pay you back in ten days."
Well, right away is not the same 'right away' that is applied to emergency room vernacular.
Take my brother-in-law. He lives in another land and wanted a iPhone. I thought, okay, he knows what he is doing, he knows if he can afford the iPhone or not, he is 38 for God's sake.
He promises to pay as soon as he gets it. He gets it, no word on the money. I look in the bank, hmm, no wire today. We call, "I'll pay in ten days." Ten days come and go and no money. We call back, "Oh, they cut off our electric, and they are threatening to cut off electric to our store.

Now I'm pretty good with finances and I realize not everybody is that good, but I would think that if your finances are so slim that you may not be able to pay your electric then you probably shouldn't be buying an iPhone for $535. I mean I don't even talk on an iPhone. I got one of those cheap phones they advertise for $50 to get you to sign a two year contract. So my solution was to say, "Okay, so your in a bit of a crunch and you can't afford to pay it back. No problem, just give it to your father (whom I love and know he loves gadgets) and when you can afford to buy it you can get it back from him." It was paid the next week. But I am in the dog house for requesting the money. How dare I ask for the money when they are having such a rough time with money. Uh, Hello!!, I didn't order the iPhone, I am pretty well off and I don't have an iPhone so why am I the bad guy in this?

Here's another story. I had a dirt-bike for sale and my nephew wanted it. Okay, he was 25 and should be able to make his own decisions. Well he got behind on payments and didn't pay, didn't pay. I said hey if you can't pay just give me the bike back. He finally paid, but my sister was quite upset with me. "You shouldn't have sold him the bike." she said. So there I was the bad guy again. How dare I think someone is financially responsible to make a purchase decision. And how dare I ask for repayment when I am doing so well.

I think when you have money more people think you don't need it as bad as them and it is okay to not pay you back. As my brother-in-law even mentioned to my mother-in-law "Joe don't need an iPhone, he has money." Ya, just walk all over me like I'm a doormat because I got so much money I won't miss a little here and there.

My neighbor even borrowed $xx G's from me and didn't pay it back when he said he would. He lost it on a deposit on a condominium gamble even after there were over a year of signs that the market was over for condominiums. "But it is such a good deal, I can't lose." But that is a whole other blog.

So why would I get upset on people not paying me back that are less fortunate than me? Well it has to do with things like 'respect' and 'keeping your word' but I'm such a stuffy guy on those subjects too I guess. Hell let me just throw all my money up in the air and let it flutter around on a windy day, hell I got so much anyway. So you see the qualities one needs to accumulate money are the same qualities that you will be castrated over when you ask for a loan back.

I'm 46 and I finally learned my lesson. You want the latest computer or gadget, don't have the money and want me to buy it for you. Well here's how I work now; if you want something, send me the money and I will buy it for you. You want a loan? I need collateral like the title on your Porsche or a piece of land you own free and clear.

Better yet, I don't have any money, I'm poor too. I spend too much at Las Vegas when I go.
In fact that's what I'm going to start telling my relatives. I have a gambling problem and I am in need of a loan, can you help me? Ha, I may never here from them again. Hmm, would that be so bad?